Exactly 4 months ago, in August, I was in a bad spot because I had to shut down my business after failing at it after 2 and a half years. We were making a little money, but we still hadn’t broken even after 2 years and I thought to myself, ‘Okay, I’ve given this two years and we still haven’t got anywhere’. At the rate I was going(of acquiring clients) it would take me another 6 years to reach a somewhat decent enough income of 1-1.5 lac a month(1500-2200$). Which is decent enough money to live a bit comfortably in my country.
But it would take me another 6 years to get to that level. I was enthusiastic about finance and business after college and could never really hold down a job for more than 4 months(I worked 4 jobs in a year and a half). Let’s face it, I was doing it for the money. I didn’t have a clue about what I was getting into or if I really wanted to do it. At that stage in my life I thought that is what I had to do based on what others were doing and what I thought were my life goals. You know the usual, accumulating money, buying a house, finding a girl and getting married and stuff.
I was working blindly towards that goal without stopping to think about anything. I was so knee deep into it that I could really connect with myself or reflect upon what I really wanted to do. But with every circumstance comes a chance for clarity.
Following the business failure, I was pretty low because I had failed at it. I almost hit the bottle again after being sober for 3 months straight, but I realised that it wasn’t the answer.
I started reading a lot of things online, philosophy, essays, poetry etc and bought some books I always wanted to buy and gained some perspective. They were all hinting at the same thing – Improve yourself, master yourself, break free, think free, become knowledgeable, gain skills, do what you love, learn, grow, live, love, there is more to life than chasing money etc
I took to writing(something I had always done since I was a kid) to express my thoughts and vent and honestly, just get out all the stuff inside me, which led to a series of breakthroughs. It resulted in a book of poems(which will be released in February 2017). I finally tapped into my inner self and got what my soul was trying to tell me.
I realised a number of things as I sat and wrote for days together. This idea I had for my future life before was not what I really wanted. As I wrote and wrote, determined to finish a book, all these things dawned on me and I learned that I had to just follow what I truly and honestly, being true to myself loved to do – It wasn’t business, it was to be creative and express myself.
I was lucky to be offered a job as a writer for football news (again a sport I loved since I was a child) and it was enough to pay the bills. I realised after probing further that it was music that I loved the most. Music had been with me since I was 10. I loved music for my whole life but was asked and drilled to get a ‘real’ job and not even think of music as a career. I was a kid, I had no clue about life so I would blame my parents for that. Coincidentally, the longest job I ever stuck at was that of a DJ back in college. I started a music channel on YouTube last year called BOMBEATS which was just a way for me to share my music with the world.
But finally after much experimentation with music production(downloading readymade samples and arranging them) along with mix and playlist making, I finally decided that – ‘Fuck it, I love this, so I might as well give this my best shot and if I fail at this, then at least I would fail doing what I love.’
The odds are against me to succeed because I’m starting so late(I’m 26) but I’m determined to do this for ‘me’ while I did everything else in life for other people or by misconstrued enthusiasm. There were a number of musicians who made it pretty late.
My aim is to become a professional producer and film scorer and take part in a number of projects(as a solo artist and maybe even a band later who knows). I want to go to music school for my masters, but at the moment I’m just learning the basics before I do end up going abroad.
At the moment I’m writing for a living and I will continue to do so and suddenly I have a lot to do and plan my time in my day accordingly for.
Life is all about self-discovery and after 26 years I have unraveled what I truly love.
Music and Writing.
I’m going for this. It’s my time to do what I truly love.
I wanted to buy a bass guitar last month but I had this dream a couple of weeks ago – Where I was playing a piano and enjoying it.
I woke up all of a sudden and thought -‘Fuck is my subconscious trying to tell me something?’
After all majority of music production is done from a keyboard on a computer.
I decided to just listen to my subconscious and went online looking for keyboard classes(I’ve found a tutor and it starts in January)
I then went ahead and bought my first ever MIDI keyboard exactly 24 hours ago.
I was really excited before I got it because I had never pictured using one except watching in awe as I saw others use them, but at the same time I was rather curious as to whether I would I be able to use it decently enough.
Surprisingly I took to it rather well, better than I had expected at least. I could just feel things flow out of me. I felt like it was natural and flowing from within. I felt at home.
Here are the results. Mind you I have no idea about the technical aspects(music theory) and this is just in the first 24 hours of owning a MIDI Keyboard.
Here is my first ever beat.
And here is another one
And here are my first two attempts at the piano/keyboard( I have no idea about chords or anything, I’m still waiting to start classes)
And here is what I just made a few hours ago.
I made more stuff but I’m still working on making tracks out of it.
I think for my first ever attempt at this it’s pretty alright. There is a lot of work ahead but I’m gonna practice hard at this and give it everything.
I came up with a moniker as well, “Morphonoise”. I’m looking at making an album but only once I’m pretty good at everything. That could take a while.
So here is my soundcloud page. I would really appreciate some follows.
I’m going to keep sharing cool stuff like sample kits and best resources for music online as my journey progresses so stay tuned to my blog and follow it if you like.
In the meantime, I’m going to continue the good old playlists and mixes on BOMBEATS so hit subscribe to that as well.
Even my computer knows me well ..
I aim to master this much first and then set out to learn the guitar.
Music is the healer no matter who you are.
So dear friends, see you soon.
I can’t wait for this!