So about a month ago I went to play football at Kamla mills, in Lower Parel in my beloved city of Mumbai because a friend asked me to join. At the end of the game everybody was talking some bullshit or the other, you know, regular banter and I, like I usually do when these brainless numb skulls talk shit was just keeping quiet and listening. Suddenly one of the dudes who thought he was the best at football(while playing, his style and everything) blurted out “So yeah, we’re going to Phoneix(a mall) to get some drinks and there are three holes, anybody wants to join?” I was like, wait what the fuck did I just hear? This Neanderthal looking bloke just referred to a group of three women as three holes!!! Now what I should have done was immediately lost my cool and abused the guy and taught him a lesson of respect for women but I didn’t say anything because and I swear The Beatles song ” let it be” played in my head. I shut up. And they went on laughing and what not!
The sad thing is if I had opened my mouth they would have laughed at me or whatever because sadly believe it or not guys everywhere talk exactly like this. For all you women out there, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but there’s a world where your guy is with all his guy friends and talks exactly like this. Believe it or not it’s true. Of course not everybody is like this but 99% of dudes talk about women in a disrespectful way when they are with their buddies and trust me nobody bats a eyelid about it. Men will be men and all but come on people be better, be respectful towards these lovely ladies and don’t refer to them as pieces of meat.
Now I chose to write this piece not just because of this one guy but because a lot of my really good friends also talk like this and really I don’t know what to say when this happens. Is it just me? Or do all men talk like this and am I the odd one out? The other day it was just me and my two really close buddies at a bar in phoenix. I will not reveal their names, but the conversation went on and one of my buddies tells me while discussing another guy, who I called a chutiya ” Dude he has slept with more women than you can imagine.” So I said”So ? ” I mean so fucking what? So he has slept with a lot of women? Does that mean I have to respect him or something or think better of him? Seriously? and then my buddy tells me, ” Dude all that matters in life is two things, how much money you have and how many women you have slept with!” I was taken aback my really close friend just said life was all about just these two things!! I mean I immediately thought ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ ‘What about life, experience, travel, adventure, love, family, sport, making a difference to the world, being a role model to youngsters, giving back to society, contributing to the country, etc. He just threw all of that out of the window and said this was it. Money and Sex with women,that was his idea of life. That’s all. Nothing more.
Sadly, most people from my generation have been brought up on hollywood and western television in the 90s to accept their way of life and lifestyle, you know, the money, the sex, the clothes, the cars everything material. Unfortunately for me, none of that appeals to me I find it banal and waste. Designer brands? I couldn’t care less about what I wear as long as it’s serving the purpose of covering myself. Fancy cars? I couldn’t care less it’s just a means of transport from one place to another. I’d rather buy a decent german engineered fuel efficient vehicle, I don’t like Indian cars. I have lived a psuedo-hippie lifestlye back in my college days when we were doing a lot of drugs and attending rave parties and really living on barely any money. It was about exploring the depths of our mind and testing reality. When I finally got done with that phase of my life, I realised that material things did not appeal to me, that I should do my own thing, and I should create some value in life, i.e do something to make a difference to the world. So I have struggled as an Entrepreneur for two years and have failed multiple times, actually I have failed so much that I have learned that failure is part and parcel of life and will lead you to good things if you just persevere. Anyway I digress, I am no nancy wuss, or something. I have had amazing experiences with women in my life and it really meant something to me but it did not work out with them, sadly. Im talking about really falling in love with them and having a meaningful relationship,
But nowadays this skewed sense of self and even worse skewed perception of objectifying women is everywhere. If I don’t conform to it I will be treated as an outcast among my fellow men. Everywhere all these people talk about is how many women they are sleeping with, how much money they are making and how I am “not getting any” so I am a loser or something. If i’m not having lots of sex I am not normal. That’s what society has accepted as a norm. Honestly I really don’t give a fuck. If you are getting laid, well then good for you. Sex is great and all but it’s just bodily enjoyment for me and lowering the vibration of your mind as is written in the Bhagwad gita which I read and study.
What I want is in this world is simple , a woman who loves me, who is going to make all my worries go away just by looking at her beautiful face, who will stand by me no matter how poor or rich I am, somebody who will believe in me and encourage me to be the best human being I can be, somebody who will spend all of life’s moments with me i.e the little moments, who will travel with me as my partner in crime and just be there for me as a shoulder to lean on and my anchor or bed rock in life. I don’t want to get married just as yet, I am too young but I want that meaningful relationship, you know. I’m a purist, I believe in love and I want what I had before – an organic romance not some fake ass shit.
Empty sex is empty, it’s just satisfying your primal bodily urges. And honestly if you aren’t “getting any” don’t break your head about it, just go on with your fucking day and work hard. For all those reading this who can relate to me, just don’t give a fuck about these dick heads they are lost souls just pity them, smile at them and go on with your day.
I don’t want a hundred women I want one who will stick with me no matter what and love me for who I am. Is that too much to ask for? Or is something wrong with me when I say that? I really don’t think so.
What happened to good old romance? It’s dead. Where there was falling in love with an amazing woman. Now there’s tinder. I have tried that shitty app even though I hate everything about it and it really is of no use. Yeah I’m the guy you swipe left for or right or whatever I don’t even know which side is what so you know I barely spend my time on the damn thing.
I have to say that I wasn’t raised by my parents to objectify women and refer to them as “holes” I respect women as fellow human beings. And admire them for their beauty and courage to live in a world with men like this who objectify them and stare them down every time they walk. I admire their courage to deal with that. They are brave. Braver than me and you. They are the life givers who will become mothers one day and somehow cook, clean, love(their husbands and children) and work at the same time and make it seem effortless. I admire and respect women. And I cannot for the sake of even banter disrespect them and objectify them.
Perhaps it is the western influx of thought that has caused this, where casual sex is a necessity and living a life of pomp and show with excessive material things is the best thing about life. For me I would rather spend my money on travelling and the experieneces of learning from different cultures and enjoying myself doing that.
But western culture and television has promoted their way of life. For example the show Entourage, we’ve all watched it. I mean I liked the show in my college days, it was funny (it had so many beautiful women it wasn’t even normal, seriously where did they get such good looking extras?) but anyway I digress, I liked the show but then I thought wait a second all this show’s plot line is Vince and the gang deciding “Which movie am I going to do next?”, “How extravagant am I going to live by buying something or doing something involving throwing money around?” or “Drugs” or”Which girl am I going to bang?” and just useless banter the whole time with comical jokes by Ari or Drama written by the writers and throw in a shit load of celebrities and viola it’s a television show. That’s about it. That’s all the show was about. Think about it. My favourite character on that show was E and his love interest Sloan and their love story. I saw that and that’s what I wanted. So you get the kind of person I am. Level headed, down to earth, caring about friends and family, occasionally an asshole but out to make it big not for the money but for being able to live a comfortable life without worries along with those I love, a girl who I love, my family, my friends and associates. And try with my companies that I have started to create value for people and deliver quality whether in service or products.
I really don’t know why everybody talks like this, or why this has become a norm. But isn’t it really retarded? I’m a man and I have the balls to say this that my fellow men really don’t know how to respect women and they probably won’t respect me either and think of me as some sort of loser but honestly I don’t really give a fuck. Everybody has an opinion, to each his own, as I always say, you can’t please everybody. And another thing is I really don’t know how these women fall for such guys who refer to them as “holes” behind their back or sleep with them for fun or whatever. Anyway fuck it, I really don’t know what to say other than live my life and concentrate on my business and my work and look out for “the one” the girl I would like to be with.
I just wanted say this that I am no saint, although I have values and sense I have also been skewed by my fellow men and television and all that bullshit but I try my best to stick to my values and not stoop down to their level. I have also disrespected someone(a woman) by sending them a disrespectful message it was somebody I really cared about and I’m sure I hurt them. I was just angry and confused. So for that I am sorry, it wasn’t me being myself. Pardon me you know who you are.
All I am going to say is my fellow men if you are reading this just be better. Try to be better more sensible human beings and treat women with respect. Be classy. Be better to women especially behind their backs, think about if you would call your mother or sister that. Just be better India and the world, that’s all. When it comes to women, respect them and love them they are golden human beings.
I hope the message gets through. And I hope there is a perception shift among those that I am social with. Please for the sake of how your parents and school raised you, be better and think before you talk filth about these lovely ladies, who have done nothing bad to you. The least you can do is treat them with respect in thought, word and deed whether in front of them or behind their backs.
Take care everybody.
Have a blessed life.
Cheers ! 🙂